Sitting Still

veggie booty

Somewhere around the middle of May, after a lot of consideration, I decided to become a vegetarian.  Actually, I'm sort of a complicated vegetarian, because my label is technically a pesco-lacto-ovo vegetarian.  That's Latin for "I still eat seafood, milk products and eggs."  I've considered going veggie for a long time and dabbled in variations of it on and off since high school.  The time had come to resolve the issue for myself: either change my diet, or stop worrying about it.  And, since I knew I couldn't just let. it. go. (I'm charmingly obsessive like that), I decided to commit to the change.

It's been surprisingly easy.  Keeping seafood on the menu, at least for now, has definitely lessened any feelings I might have had about "restricting" myself. While some may argue that fish and shellfish also suffer to become food, I personally just have less of an ethical problem with eating a creature that a) has lived a normal life up until the time it's caught, and b) is available to me locally, fresh and sustainable.  Of course, these contingencies mean that I try to eat local, in season, wild-caught seafood -- a task at which I mostly succeed.  The other reason I'm keeping fish and shellfish is that we like to eat out quite a bit, and the menu is a lot bigger for me with those things on it.  Selfish? Yes, undeniably so.  But it's where I'm at right now and I'm ok with it.

I think a lot of people think of vegetarianism in all it's forms, including vegan, in terms of what you can't eat.  Reading the book Skinny Bitch -- which I enjoyed and helped catalyze my decision, although they propose a vegan diet and I'm just not ready for that -- reframed this point for me.  It's not that you "can't" eat certain animal products, you're just choosing not to.  And it's not about what you "don't" eat, it's about what you DO.

Bottom line: It makes me feel good.  I feel better about contributing less to the mistreatment of animals, and I feel healthier eating a diet rich in fruits and vegetables and whole grains and (mostly) plant proteins. I'm trying lots of new products and experimenting with recipes that demonstrate just how much YUM you can get on a vegetarian diet. For instance, the soybean?  It's an amazing plant.  I have a new respect. And I've eaten these amazing vegan chocolate chip cookies made fresh by our local health food store that put that processed Keebler crap to shame.

So, the girl who once claimed that she couldn't live without a little pork in her cooked greens is now delightfully bacon-free.  And she's pretty darn happy about it.

Happy (slightly belated) Father's Day

Do you remember distinct moments of falling in love?  The words, or images, or touches that let you know, yes -- this is the one.  Because I have some, and I remember the moment I knew my husband would be a good father.

Ron was seventeen years old when his niece was born.  When I started dating him and met her, she was six months old.  One day while looking through pictures of her doing the latest cute-baby thing, I saw a photo that made me fall in love.  On the couch, Ron lay flat on his back, wearing a white undershirt and some pajama pants.  On his chest, curled up like a tiny pink frog, was his infant niece, asleep.  And while I wasn't at that point sizing him up for his ability to care for little humans, I think there was a primal part of me that etched that image onto my deep memory.  Note to self: this might be a good one with whom to share your genes.  Maybe all those make out sessions aren't such a bad idea after all.

Many kisses and fifteen years later, that teenager napping with the baby on his chest has two kids of his own. It's a crazy thing to watch the twenty-something cutie you married turn into a father.  Trades are completed: shot glass for sippy cup, action films for cartoons, trips to Thailand for trips to the zoo.  He learns how to wrangle a wriggling baby into a diaper, and he teaches a preschooler how to cast a fishing line with her new pink Barbie rod.  Discussions are had about serious things -- discipline methods, college savings plans, life insurance -- like we're real honest-to-God grown-ups with a constant sense that the decisions we make now affect these little folks who depend on us.

Ron works incredibly hard to provide our family with what we need and want.  He became a father for the first time just as he entered the most rigorous part of his training, and balancing work and family was not easy.  In the last year, however, some of that pressure has eased, and with it has come more time for family life.  Of course, that doesn't always mean the fun stuff.  Sometimes it means standing in the midst of chaos while the baby spits up everywhere and the preschooler loses her shit for no apparent reason and your wife slowly goes crazy because of the spitting-upping and the shit-losing.  And all three of them look to you to make things work better. 

Talk about pressure.  Microsurgery ain't got nothing on the insanity we call fatherhood.

But the 17-year-old who babysat his niece has stepped up nicely to the challenge of being a dad.  And just as I fell in love with him that day, there are moments he shares with the kids everyday that make me do it all over again.  Playing soccer with Claire.  Looking for a way to learn Chinese with her.  Going fishing two days in a row just because she loved it so much (didn't catch a thing).  Taking her to work and teaching her about "fixing kids' eyes."  Promising her that we'll go camping this fall in a tent with sleeping bags.  Snuggling Gage.  Making him put his hands on his hips and say "oh, no you didn't" just to make me laugh.  Discussing your shared interest in my boobs.  Taking a nap together.

So today, I just want to say thank you.  Thank you for giving all that you do to this family -- time, energy, support in many forms.  Thank you for partnering with me to muddle through the uncertainty about doing the right thing for them.  Thank you for trusting me to mother your children as best I know how, and thank you for forgiving me when I screw it up.  Thank you for believing with me that one of the best gifts we can give our children is a happy, healthy marriage, and thank you for working with me to create that despite all the challenges we've faced.

Thank you for being a man who puts his family first, and who shows that in the decisions, big and small, that you make every day.  

We love you.  Happy Father's Day.

Gage at 5 months

My son is five months old.  Five and a half, to be exact. Cue the whining mama: where does the time go?

He just had his four month check-up last week (at five months, as I neglectfully missed the visit I'd scheduled -- oops) and weighs in at almost 19 pounds, 27.5 inches long.  He's in the 97th percentile all the way around, which makes me say good job buddy -- a solid A in the eating department!

We still haven't managed to establish any kind of schedule, but he generally falls into the pattern of eat, play, sleep (which, come to think of it, would be the infant's answer to Eat, Pray, Love, dontcha think?).  I seem to think Claire was in this nice two-naps-a-day pattern by this age, but then again, Claire did not get carted all over town because her mama and big sister were bored at home.  So there's that. A week ago I would have told you he is consistently sleeping through the night, and that is still mostly true, except for the days when I've stayed up far too late -- then he's up at the least convenient time! (The children, they prey on your weaknesses...)

But, ah, the giggles.  They are plentiful, especially if you tickle him in the sweet spot between his chins or lift him up into an airplane in the air.  And he likes nothing better than to be naked, squirming, kicking, and grabbing his penis.  Yes, he's found it, although it's not unusual for him to stick his hand down there and grab hold of the fat roll right next door on his thigh instead, which cracks me up like nothing else.  Claire is the BEST TOY EVER, and even when she is right up in his face and practically laying on top of him and I'm yelling "Don't break his ribs!" -- even then, he's laughing at her.  It's easy to see already that these two are going to get into all kinds of mischief and that I'll be lucky to stay one step ahead.

When I found out I was having a boy, I was a little uncertain about what that would bring.  Now, I can't imagine having it any other way.  He's my buddy, and my constant companion, and his gummy smile and grabby, curious hands are a source of much delight.  I have a little boy, and he's awesomeness.

confession

 Hi there.  Long time no talk. I'd love to make excuses, but the truth is that I've been cheating on you again.

About three weeks ago I was hired as a "city expert" for SavvySource, a preschool resource guide rolling out city-specific blogs for parents of young children.  About two weeks ago I got the list of 15 topic assignments that had to go live last Monday, at which point I started staying up far too late and praying to meet deadline.  Now, I'm at Being Savvy Charleston, writing about getting out and about with preschool-aged children in my fair city.  Check out the list of cities on board -- there are others blogging in 20+ cities across the U.S., with more to come in the next month or so.

Now I'm busy scoping out the best free and low-cost summer enrichment fun for the short crowd and calling it "work."  Sweet.

Come and see:

• Who I think I am to be called a "city expert"
• How we like to enjoy the South Carolina Aquarium (stay for the joke at the end)
• My half-day walking tour suggestion for a kid-focused visit of downtown

I hope you'll say hello to me at the new place.

Now that I'm up and running over there, I hope to be back here more often as well.  (Trust me, the gym membership alone has given me more blog fodder than I could have ever hoped for.)

P.S. This blog was sort of broken for a period as well.  The good folks of Typepad fixed it. For the friends who frantically e-mailed me, please note: a disappeared blog doesn't mean that I've died, promise.  Heck, I blogged from the delivery room, so I'd probably do it on my deathbed as well.